Stopping

One benefit of living in a park reserve is that you're always finding new things back in the woods.  And no matter how often you travel the same walking path, it never gets old.  I love parks in the winter time, mainly because no one else is there, and you have plenty of space to look at the water and not be interrupted.  No matter how extroverted I rank on the Meyer Briggs personality test, I will always have an inner quiet introvert within.  Ironically, there are times that my inner introvert stands up and demands attention.

I've always been a strange kind of girl, and I'm at the point in my life now where I'm beginning to take advantage of it.  Being single and a moderate introvert can make you into a very strange person.  Sometimes it makes you cook a nice candle light dinner for yourself just because you're tired of waiting for a guy to ask you out, so you've decided to ask yourself out.  Sometimes it makes wear earplugs all day just because you're tired of hearing noise.  Sometimes being a single introvert makes you want to get up in the morning and dress up just because you feel like being beautiful, and no one can tell you that you're ugly wearing colors that clash.  Trust me, I know, it's kinda weird.  But I've gotten used to myself.

Since it's only Wednesday and I've already somehow managed to work overtime in less than a week, I have the urge to just rest.  To me, the idea of rest is still a lot of work, because I don't think that most Americans understand the idea of rest.  To them, resting means going out to the local bar and watching the game.  To me, rest means having enough silence to think.

The saddest part about life is that we spend most of it being distracted.  We've lost sight of what it means to truly learn, because if we want to know something we can just search for a demonstration on youtube.  Nevermind the old days where learning meant work; isn't getting information what Google, Youtube and Wikipedia are for?  We're constantly being entertained, constantly consuming.  Despite all of our access to information, we're a completely ignorant culture.  And despite all our access to entertainment, we still can't recognize good humor.  

Nothing burns me out as much as living in a culture that never stops.  And if you do stop, you're usually made to feel guilty because you're not burnt out like everyone else.    

I don't want to live my life only to have most of it taken away by my lack of attention.  I want to get rid of the things in my life that distract, and hold on to the things that enhance.  That's what clarity is supposed to mean.    

For me, stopping means stopping, and I don't feel guilty in the least for doing it.  Sometimes that means an entire day without looking at my phone.  Sometimes that means a day where I eat less, spend less and waste less time.  And if you manage to save energy by doing this, go pour it out on someone else.  That's the best way to rest.

We live in a culture that has never defined what enough actually is.  Sometimes I wonder when we will ever have enough noise, enough money, enough time, enough energy, and enough things that we really don't need.  The best things are already here, right in our hands, but we never stop to marvel.  And if we do stop to marvel, we also stop on facebook to update our marveling status.

Although there isn't any snow on the ground, it's Christmas.  That's a celebration where we reflect on how much God really loved the world.  I figure that if God loved the world so much that he took enough time and energy to become one of us, perhaps giving up of ourselves and our distractions is the best way to celebrate.